stalk 16

The ceiling was cracked, white plaster splintered in pieces, lines running every which way. She stared dully up at them, traveling along their routes, trying to drown out the sound of the grunting pants Lucian was emitting. He didn’t notice, he never seemed to, or perhaps he just didn’t care, didn’t give a damn that she wasn’t an active participant, so long as she was willing to lie there and endure his amorous attentions.

It was always the same, he insisted and she caved in, laying back and spreading open beneath his hands. He touched her, and Lenneth wondered if he even noticed that she flinched away, having to force down startled gasps, and keep from tensing up. She looked at him then, eyes almost pleading, wanting to tell him not tonight, but not daring. This was their link, one of the few remaining ones between them. That of sex….and drugs.

Sex without garnet was always a chore, something to be endured, and now she found it a million times worse, listening to his ragged breaths on top of her. He hadn’t even asked her where she had gone, or questioned her about the missing garnet. Lucian had merely hugged her to him, relieved she had come back to him. Lenneth’s arms had wound their way to his back, and she clung to him. She had wanted to seek comfort in his arms, desperate for a soothing touch, but he mistook her neediness for something else.

So now she found herself, for the second time this very night, naked in a bed with a handsome man a top her body. Inside her, pounding hard and fast, though she offered few complaints. Lenneth couldn’t keep her mind from wandering, wondering if Lucian could tell someone else had been inside her. ~Lezard.~ Just thinking his name was enough to make her choke back a sob, and she shuddered, remembering how deep and fully he had fit her. Lucian grinned, thinking her shaking body meant he was doing something right, and she allowed him the illusion.

“Lenneth…..right there….can you feel me…?” asked Lucian, hips thrusting against hers. She merely nodded in answer, wishing he would hurry up and get this over with. She desperately wanted to sleep, to escape the nightmare her life had become…to stop the thoughts that came unbidden to her. Her fingers curled in the bedsheet, tightly clenching the material. She wanted to scream, not in pleasure, but in rage, demand Lucian get off of her, take charge of her sex life, regain some semblance of control.

~I’m only a body to them.~ She thought bitterly. ~Expected to be warm and compliant, and give in to their desires.~ She could feel the lyrics simmering inside of her, painful words that wanted to come out and dance across the page. Lenneth wondered if she would bother to write them down, wondered if she dared transcribe the events that had happened to her.

~No one will understand.~ It was a sad thought, and even with Lucian’s skin pressing into hers, she felt alone. More alone than she had ever been in her life. Perhaps that is why she didn’t tell him what had happened. It wasn’t because of any promise to Mystina to wait out the night. No! She had come home, and there Lucian was, staring at her with soulful blue eyes, hope shining in them, and her tongue had stilled. How could she explain to him that she had inadvertently betrayed him? How could she explain she had foolishly set herself up to be raped, to let a handsome charmer with silver tongue lure her into his lair.

~I am a fool.~ Lenneth inwardly sneered, fingernails digging into the mattress. She had gone to Lezard with the express purpose of hurting Lucian, wanting both revenge and comfort, and instead came away more hurt than when she had arrived on his doorstep. Her eyes closed, Lenneth allowing her head to fall back onto the pillows, desperate to keep the tears from slipping out of her eyes.

“You like that right…” Lucian, a sharp jab from him, keeping her grounded in reality. She looked up at him, just staring, feeling him stroke her insides and felt not one ounce of desire. His frenzied movements merely annoyed her, and she was surprised to find herself comparing his technique to Lezard’s. Even worse…a blush came to her cheeks, Lenneth realizing she thought the bespectacled young man was the better lover. A traitorous thought indeed, and something clenched inside of her, hating that her body had reacted to his in a way it had never experienced with Lucian.

~How could I have enjoyed it?~ Lenneth wondered. She hadn’t liked being raped, Lezard’s actions hardly pleased her, and yet to her shame her body had been pleasured, reaching climax, and a powerful one at that. It had left her momentarily stunned, seeing stars, body tingling exquisitely. It shouldn’t have happened, not when she was terrified and crying, that sort of thing should only occur when one felt safe and loved.

Once again Lenneth felt all alone, thinking there was no one to turn to. Not even the cops, for they would merely laugh at her claims of rape. It would be her word against his, and it would count against her that she had willingly entered his home. She could hear their laughter, hear the doubt in their voice after hearing she allowed him to tie her up. Her cheeks burned crimson, and the hot tears stung at her eyes. Her judgment was always impaired when she was on garnet, but she thought she’d have better sense then to allow a complete stranger to bind her to his bed!

And what of the garnet….would Lezard mention it should he be questioned about the rape? That wouldn’t do at all. She and Lucian were already under suspicion for having been found hanging out with a known drug dealer…she couldn’t afford to have Lezard point a finger at her for being a user. And perhaps worst of all….if the police were involved, Lucian would find out. And she didn’t want him to know!

Staring into his shoulder, images flashed through her mind again. Of happier times, when she and Lucian first met. When things had been good between them, and he didn’t criticize her. Back when she was surrounded by her sisters, immersed in love from them and her boyfriend. Like a picture book, the images turned, showing her introduction to garnet, Lucian ushering her into a high the likes of which she had never before known. Other drugs soon followed, and the sky in her world darkened, and separation from her sisters soon happened.

Drugs, sex, and song…that was what her life had become. And her memories turned to Flenceburg, of all the clubs she had been kicked out of. Of the dark and dingy places she went to, the festering nests of drug lords desperate for another fix. And then…a light came into the darkness…meeting Lezard, being amused by his antics in the grocer’s store. Going for ice cream with him. Light, happy moments of pure fluff that were innocent on the surface. Though now she knew they were darkened by his intentions, and she wondered if he had planned for that meeting to happen. Lenneth cursed Lezard in her mind, damning him for tricking her, making her believe he was something he was not.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a groan in her ear, Lucian bending over her to awkwardly nibble on her neck. She sighed, and reached up with one hand to touch the back of his head, fingering his corn silk curls. Lucian sighed happily at the touch, and pulled back to look at her. It wasn’t his face looking down at her, but Lezard’s, twisting into his features, his yellow hair turning brown, his blue eyes shimmering into hues of purple. His lips were curled into a smirk, an absolutely devious expression on his face, and he whispered seductively to her, “Everywhere you go I am watching you….always…”

A scream erupted out of Lenneth, and she felt her body clamping down on the body part that was pounding into her. Horrified she watched as Lezard smugly thrust into her, looking at her knowingly as she came. “You’re mine…” His laughter was pure delight, his gaze possessive as his eyes glossed over her body.

“N…no….” whimpered Lenneth, and her hands were pushing at his chest, trying to shove him off of her. He was like a stone block, unmoveable, and Lezard pressed down harder against her. She gasped as he shifted, leaning his face into hers, tongue darting out to catch her tears.

“Ye-es…” Lezard hissed, enjoying the pace he set. He grabbed at her slapping hands, his larger hand engulfing both her wrists, holding her hostage against him. Lenneth panicked to find her hands caught, and she writhed under him, trying to escape. It only heightened his pleasure, the man enjoying her struggles. “Now and forever mine….and nothing you can do will change that.”

“You’re…you’re hurting me….!” Lenneth snapped, feeling the pressure of his fingers on her skin. The iron grip on her wrists remained, Lezard unsympathetic to her cries.

“Body and soul…” Each word was punctuated by a sharp thrust, Lezard sliding in and out of her with ease. “Even your heart, they all belong to me!”

“No…” Lenneth shook her head vigorously from side to side. “You’re wrong! That’s not true!” She let out a disgusted sound when he lowered his face to her neck, tongue darting out in one sure stroke to taste her. She could feel Lezard tensing up, his movements becoming more erratic, and she knew he was close. She was opening her mouth to scream again, and he bellowed out his release, breath warm against her neck, though it couldn’t compare to the heat that came out of him. Hot and sticky, and coating her insides, marking her as his.

Lenneth screamed again, over and over, even as she saw Lezard moving to kiss her. She averted her face, not wanting his lips pressed against hers. Her hopes to avoid the kiss were dashed when he wound his free hand into her hair, forcing her face to turn to his. “Mine.” He whispered, a quick kiss against her lips. “All mine.” This time a longer kiss, hard and unyielding, utterly possessive in nature.

Muffled cries into his mouth, as his lips sought to beguile her mouth open. Suddenly he was shaking her, and she wondered when he had let go of her hands to grasp her shoulders. She screamed, louder this time and heard a voice, calling out her name.

“Lenneth!” She stared into Lezard’s eyes, seeing tiny reflections of herself looking back. “Lenneth!”

Cold water splashed into her face, and she blinked up, her cries turning from fear to anger. “Wh…what?” sputtered Lenneth, lifting up a hand to ease back wet bangs. Lucian knelt over her, a water jug in his hands.

“You were having a nightmare.” He said, setting down the jug.

“I…” She looked around, seeing she was still in their home, still safe in their bed. “Thank you…”

“You’re welcome…” Lucian said gruffly, turning his back to her. He was naked, and she realized so was she. “Lenneth…” His voice was angry, and his shoulders shook, the youth clearly trying to keep a reign on his emotions. “How could you….?”

“What?” She blinked, and fear raced through her. Did Lucian know?

“You fell asleep.” Lucian continued, and whirled around to face her. His blue eyes blazed, boring into her. “I can’t believe you fell asleep while we were making love to each other!”

Relief coursed through her veins, followed by guilt. “I…I did…?” She blushed, realizing not all of the past hour had been a dream.

“Yes you did!” His hands were on his hips, and he tapped his foot impatiently. “I’m waiting for an explanation.”

“I…I don’t have one…I’m just…just tired…” answered Lenneth.

“Tired?!” scoffed Lucian. “What could you possibly be THAT tired from? You didn’t work tonight…”

“I…” She looked away, rubbing her arms.

“Tch…” Lucian sounded disgusted. “Whatever…”

“Do….do you want to finish?” Lenneth asked, hating to make the offer.

“I’ll take care of it on my own.” He retorted.

“Oh…Lucian…” Lenneth moved over, patting the mattress invitingly. “Please…”

“No, I think I’m gonna sleep on the couch tonight.” He began walking away from the bed, and in a panic she lashed out, grabbing him by the arm.

“Lucian no! Please!” Lenneth hated the begging tone in her voice. “I need you to stay with me….please…” She implored, feeling near tears.

He stared down at her, frost in his eyes. For a second he looked like he’d give in, but then he was yanking his arm free of her grip. “No…You’re on your own tonight…It’s better this way.”

“Lucian!” Lenneth watched him as he walked, and cringed as he slammed the bedroom door shut behind him. “Come back…” She whispered softly, and the tears dripped down her face. She huddled in the center of the bed, hugging her knees to her chest, and began to cry. “I don’t want to be alone…”

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By Michelle