OSVP 21

Brahms had been impatient as he waited for Silmeria to awaken. His blood had been stirred up, his emotions in turmoil. Not even feeding had managed to bring him down from the anxieties and lusts Silmeria had awakened within him. The feelings he experienced, were at war with each other. Brahms was fighting his disappointments, as well as his hopes, the vampire remembering how Silmeria had approached him in the ball room.

Wild looking but beautiful, she had been a captivating sight. Especially when she had smile at him, something inside him stopping in response to the twist of Silmeria’s lips. Even before she had smiled, her actions had been enough to get Brahms’ pulse pounding. He remembered how she had willingly touched him, not to push him away but to savor the feel of his body beneath her hands. Those hands her been appreciative, the look in Silmeria’s eyes admiring. She had not been fighting her attraction to him, openly accepting it and him.

He had not been able to resist her. Not completely. And so he had kissed her, the kiss something Silmeria had wanted as much as Brahms. Or at least a part of her had wanted it. Brahms had never lost sight of the fact that Silmeria wasn’t entirely there in the room with him, her mind having shut down so that she reacted only on primal impulses. She fought when angered, and she loved when aroused.

And Silmeria had been more than just aroused, she had been reacting with open wanting. Desiring him, demanding he give in to her. Brahms had wanted to do just that, even as his own instincts demanded he take control of the situation. To master her, and make it that Silmeria never forgot just who it was that embraced her. But it was not meant to be, not so long as Silmeria had reverted to something that wasn’t entirely able to give her permission to that which he had wanted from her.

Knowing that, Brahms had forced himself to stop. But not before he had thoroughly shamed himself by grinding against her, and kissing her breathless. He wasn’t a saint, he hadn’t been able to resist Silmeria completely. He had needed to steal those moments, to take something to soothe the beast inside him. But now he wondered if he hadn’t done more damage to himself, Brahms’ feelings spiraling out of control.

The feeding hadn’t managed to soothe his lusts completely. It was a problem only compounded by the fact Silmeria had been aroused while sleeping. He had seen the reactions in her, scented the arousal coming off her. He wasn’t privy to what she dreamt about, but it had taken a long time for her to calm down even a fraction. Enough time that his own tension grew, Brahms seating himself in a chair close to the bed.

He had of course meant to remain there during their talks. To remain as cool and detached as he could manage. But at the first sign of Silmeria’s distress, Brahms had vacated his seat, ending up in the bed with her. Not that Silmeria took any comfort from his touch, the girl struggling against him. He tried not to focus on how good it felt to have Silmeria moving like that in his arms, but part of him had been stirred.

It was easier to not give in to his attraction to her, when their talk had been so obviously distressing to Silmeria. She hadn’t liked hearing that her actions in the ball room would lead to the vampires going elsewhere for sustenance. She feared a blood bath, and no amount of reassurance from Brahms could convince Silmeria that that would not happen. Nor could he offer her comfort in the fact that she would need to feed, and soon. Brahms estimated that at most, she might hold out for another two nights. And those two nights would be pushing it.

Silmeria had to feed before time ran out. Before her systems started to shut down, her mind being irrevocably damaged. If she went truly mindless, became a revenant, there would be nothing left for her. No matter how often and how much she fed, Silmeria would never know an end to her thirst. It would be a meaningless existence, the girl driven to attack any and everyone, even her own kind. Even worse, Brahms might be the only one who would have a hope of putting an end to a revenant of Silmeria’s power.

Not that Brahms would ever allow the situation to get that bad. If it came down to it, he would force her to feed. Brahms would use the same compulsion that had forced Silmeria to sleep, to make her drink the blood she so desperately needed to nourish her. But he didn’t want to have to do it. And all because he knew Silmeria would only see it as a violation. Another freedom he had taken from her.

He felt a little guilty about using the compulsion to make his bride sleep. But when considering the alternatives, and the way she would have reacted if he had allowed them to become lovers, Brahms knew he had made the right choice. Brahms wasn’t even sure if Silmeria knew that he was the one responsible for her sleep. She certainly hadn’t snapped at him, but then she hadn’t been forthcoming about what had happened in the ball room aside from the slaughter she had attempted to do.

He probably shouldn’t push her about the ball room, especially the part where they had fallen on each other like love starved animals. But he need to talk to her about what happened, about all of it. That included the bits that might make her embarrassed or angry. Brahms had already had a taste of her embarrassment, Silmeria reacting in that surprising way when she had first awakened. It had led to her blushing, the girl darting her glance away from him.

He tried not to muse on how lovely she looked with that bit of color on her cheeks. He couldn’t be distracted by his attraction to her. Not when he had to be stern and disapproving of what she had done.

“Silmeria.” He had to repeat her name, the former Valkyrie’s eyes distant, his bride lost to her own thoughts. But at last she looked at him, truly seeing him then. “What happened in the ball room. It cannot be repeated.” His own voice was stern, like a parent ready to dole out punishments. “Do you understand me? What you did? It was nearly unforgivable.”

“I…I didn’t mean too…” She began, then shook her head. “I just…I…I wanted her to stop. To be silent!”

“Surren?” He questioned, and she nodded.

“She said terrible things…”

“Surren has always had a sharp tongue…and doesn’t always refrain from using it.” Brahms grumbled. “That’s still no reason to stir my vampires into a frenzy of blood lust and paranoia!”

She didn’t flinch, didn’t look away. In fact, Silmeria almost looked defiant in the moment. “You weren’t there!” She exclaimed. “You weren’t there to hear the things she was saying, the things she said should have been done to Lenneth!”

“No, I was not there.” He agreed. “But you had made a promise to me. A promise not to attack anyone unless they attacked you first.”

“But I was under attack!” Silmeria protested. “Surren…”

“Surren did nothing but speak to you. Crude and malicious yes, but she would not have raised a hand to you first!” Brahms snapped. “You broke your promise to me…you’ve made me look like a fool in front of our people for trusting you to behave!”

“If you are a fool, it is of your own making!” Silmeria’s retort earned an angry growl from him. She seemed to pale to hear it, Silmeria realizing she had gone too far this night.

“You’ve jeopardized much.” Brahms said when he was able to speak without snarling at her. “I have so many plans. Plans that extend beyond you and me, towards my kingdom. Our kingdom.”

“I have no desire to rule as your queen.” She managed to protest.

“No, you have no ambition to do anything but lay down and die at your sisters’ hands.” Brahms grumbled, his words a crude hurt. “Many of the vampires present for your…display tonight, would be all for that plan of yours. They would welcome the chance to have the threat of you removed. And it has nothing to do with you once being their enemy.”

“I am still their enemy.” She lifted her head up, stubborn and proud in the moment. “Tonight has proven it.”

“Tonight has proven many things…whether you remain their enemy or not is still up to debate. But Silmeria, you frighten them.” Brahms told her.

“Good! They SHOULD be frightened!” She exclaimed, and held up her hands. Her nails had not reverted from their claws state, but the blood that had dried there was gone. Brahms himself had personally seen to cleaning them, knowing the blood would only serve to distress his bride. “I am a monster. I am something that is even worse than a vampire…I am a creature that is beyond their equal….I remember what happened in the ball room. How effortlessly it was for me to injure and maim. They wouldn’t have been able to stop me..”

“But I did.” He quickly reminded her. She flushed anew, and quickly looked away, her hands lowering to her lap. It was apparent Silmeria did not want to be reminded about just what had happened after she had settled down from her rage. “And I will always be here. To stop you from getting out of control!”

“I don’t need a keeper!” Silmeria snapped out angrily. He touched her face, forcing her chin to lift so he could see her eyes. The blue flashed with her defiant anger, Silmeria sullen as she looked at him.

“Right now, you do need one. If you get that out of control just from a few words, I shudder to think what you would do if provoked for real.” Her expression only turned more angry. “Silmeria…we will have much work to do. Our people are fearful of you. They neither trust nor like you at the moment. To rule over them, you will have to work to gain back their trust, to win their favor. You will need that support…you will need to make allies, people you can trust.”

“I cannot trust the undead! And I’ve already told you I don’t want to rule as Queen!”

“You feel that way now.” Brahms agreed. “But feelings can change. And when you come to accept the gift I have given you…”

“It’s a curse, not a gift!” Silmeria interrupted.

“When you come to accept it…” He continued. “You will want more out of life than merely being my wife. You were a Valkyrie, a commander of Odin’s armies. You will want similar power…you may even enjoy the politics of ruling.”

“That will never happen. I was never meant to be a queen, let alone the ruler of the vampires!”

“We can’t always predict what our ultimate fates will be.” Brahms told her. “But I know enough to see you are not ready to accept this role I would give to you. For now we must work on making amends…”

“I’m not going to apologize. Especially not to Surren!” Silmeria warned.

“I can make excuses for you, but only for so long. A time will come when you have to look back on your behavior, and repent.”

“That will never happen!” She insisted. “There are things I have done tonight, things that have frightened me as much as I have frightened your vampires. There are even things I regret, such as my loss of control…But I will never apologize. Your vampires are my enemy, and I am theirs. Tonight served well to remind us all of that!”

It was truly aggravating, this insistence of Silmeria’s to remain as nothing more than an enemy of the vampires. But it was nothing he hadn’t seen before, with countless fledglings. Those who were forced into the vampire lifestyle, often resisted the changes brought upon them. Sometimes to the point of welcoming death, going out to meet the sun. Brahms could well remember seeing the charred remains of those foolish enough to end their existence this way. The memories hurt, but made him all the more determined to keep Silmeria from reaching a similar end.

“You are not the first fledgling to hate what she has become.” Brahms spoke out loud. “Nor will you be the last. Not so long as the war takes from us our choices when it comes to choosing who to gift with our kiss.”

“What does that mean? What does the war have to do with any of this?!” Silmeria demanded.

“Simply this. If we vampires had a choice, we would limit ourselves to only turning those who want to be turned.” She made a scoffing sound, surely not believing any would be so willing to be turned into a vampire. “But the war dwindles down our soldiers. And unlike Odin, we have no consistent way of gaining new warriors for our cause.”

“Odin? You would dare bring him into this?!”

“I dare because it’s the truth!” snapped Brahms. “Odin keeps the war going. And not just the war with the vampires. Have you never questioned why he doesn’t put an end to the many wars fought on Midgard? Well, I’ll tell you why! It’s because no matter who wins, he gains the souls of the fallen warriors. Those souls he uses to line his own armies, to continue to wage war with us and any other who would dare stand against him.”

“Not many would dare.” Silmeria pointed out. “If the undead didn’t plague him so, Odin would have no need to make use of the einherjar. Or the Valkyies.”

“The undead are not the only enemy Odin has. Hel would be all too glad to take from him, his wealth and holdings.”

“Hmph, Hel.” She sneered. “Hel is weak. She and her armies are no match for my King.”

“Hel may be weak, it’s true. But she is not stupid.” Brahms told her. “She has had years to bide her time, to plot and scheme, to study for Odin’s weaknesses. And above all, to build up her armies. The time is coming, when she won’t always be the loser in their confrontations.”

“You almost sound as if you admire her!” Silmeria muttered accusingly.

“Hel and I have had a long association.” Brahms did not quite chuckle. “Enough of a relationship to have seen sides of each other that many others don’t.”

“Why don’t you take up with her instead of me?” Silmeria demanded, and Brahms really had to fight to keep from grinning. Silmeria had sounded angry when she said that, as though an irrational part of her had awakened to jealousy.

“The dark Goddess and I…we would not be a good match.”

“Neither would a vampire and a Valkyrie, and still that did not stop you from pursuing me!” Silmeria was quick to point out, blue eyes blazing. “Really Brahms, you would do far better to choose someone of your own kind. Like…Surren…” She spat out the name. “Or that pretty redhead. Riana was her name?”

“Risana.” Brahms corrected, though he knew she had gotten the name wrong on purpose. “And as far as matches go, I could do worse than those two. But…” He paused, giving her a meaningful look. “It is not they who captivate my attention. It is not they who stir my emotions, it is not they who move me to do things, take foolish risks on the off chance of gaining love….”

“You waste your time if you think to get anything of value from me!” She quickly retorted, expression haughty. “You waste my time too…all on deluded hopes and dreams.”

“It’s not as deluded as you would want it to be.” Brahms told her, watching as her eyes narrowed.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?!”

“You know.” Brahms breathed out. She shook her head, trying to deny it. But he would have none of it. “Anger and blood lust wasn’t the only things you felt this night. It wasn’t the only thing stirred out of your control in the ball room this evening.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Silmeria had averted her eyes, lips flattening out to a thin, disapproving line.

“You can try to deny it all you want, but it happened. I was there to witness it, and so were you.” Hel, even the vampires out in the hall had been present to hear what was going on, though Brahms wouldn’t admit that to Silmeria. “You felt for me Silmeria. You felt an attrac…”

“NO!” She snapped out, voice loud with her denial. “NO! I felt nothing but anger, nothing but the need to rip apart anyone who came in reach!”

“Then why did you calm down the instant I stepped into the room?” Brahms demanded. “Silmeria, you felt it, the energy between us. The connection.”

“No.” Her voice was softer this time, her hands clenching into fists on her lap.

“You can try to deny it all you want, but it doesn’t change what happened. Silmeria, you were attracted to me. You wanted me. As much as I wanted you, if not more!”

“That wasn’t me.” She whispered, her cheeks turning an angry red. “That couldn’t have been…that was…that was…”

“Was what?” He demanded, voice just as soft as hers. She shrugged, still not looking at him. “Silmeria, there is an attraction there. And it is not as one sided as you want to believe.”

“No, I’m not like that! I’m not…not the type to…to…” Silmeria shook her head, as though what she wanted to say was to horrific to contemplate.

“Was it that bad?” Brahms asked. He was curious, but also knew her answer had the potential to hurt him. “Feeling that way?”

“It was a loss of control.” That was all it seemed she would admit to, Silmeria closing her eyes. “I…I never…would never…” She opened them, looking at him, upset and dismayed. “I don’t just kiss men. I don’t throw myself at them!”

“Ah…but…I am not just any man. I am yours.” That earned him a frown, Silmeria once again shaking her head. “You have to know that is true. You recognized me as yours in the ball room. You were all too ready to stake your claim on me, make me yours in all the ways that matter.”

Brahms thought she might turned embarrassed at that, but the heat in her eyes spoke of anger stirred. Her fists tightened on her lap, the color draining from her knuckles in the process. “I remember you kissed me.” Silmeria spoke accusingly, glaring at him.

“Only because you kissed me first.” He countered, amused as her temper flared.

“You did more than just kiss me!” She exclaimed. “You took advantage! You pinned me to a wall, and you…you did an unspeakable act…”

“It is true I did all of that…you are a difficult temptation to resist.” Brahms said. “But…” He did not look away, holding her gaze as he made his point. “You’ll also remember I stopped.”

“Yes…and I…I thank you for that bit of restraint.” It was a grudging bit of gratitude, but it was thanks all the same. She hesitated long enough for Brahms to nod in acknowledgment of her words, then curiosity crept into her voice. “Why DID you stop?”

“Why?”

“You had me right where you wanted me. Willing, even eager.” It hurt her to admit that part. Brahms could do no less than to speak honestly.

“Believe me, if I thought it right, I would have continued what you had started. But I was quick to realize you were not in your right state of mind. You had not gone to that mindless state of a revenant, but you were close.”

“Close…” Silmeria echoed, dismayed.

“Very close.” He stressed. “You were driven only by instincts and impulses. My vampires can only thank the stars that those impulses recognized me and turns aside your anger to lusts. As for why I stopped, it’s simple. It would have been wrong to take you in that state.” She blinked, surprised by his answer. “I know you don’t believe we vampires have a strong sense of right and wrong, but it’s true. I will not force myself on you that way, will not take from you until you invite me near, your head clear and your heart certain of what you want.”

“You should have taken me then.” Silmeria said, her bold words taking Brahms by surprise. “Because vampire? That was your only chance to have me!”

The conviction in her eyes disturbed him, Brahms sliding off the bed. Shaken, he stared at her, trying to hide his unease. “We shall see whether or not you are right about that.”

Silmeria said nothing in response, just continued to stare at him in that unnerving way. It was a difficult look to face, Silmeria seeming unshakable in her belief. “I will see you tomorrow.” He told her, backing towards the room’s door. Silmeria didn’t even inquire as to why he was leaving her when there was still some time before the sun rose. But he couldn’t stand to be there any longer, to endure her looks and her silence. He was all but fleeing the room, but outside it there was no relief.

The sole comfort Brahms took was the fact that there was no one out in the hall to bear witness to how shaken he was. Many of his vampires had gone off the island, teleporting to nearby cities to seek out nourishment. This was more important than ever, what with the threat of the Valkyrie hunting party looming near. It was invasion their island home was facing, and his people needed to be at their full strength for the battle they would take part in.

At this current time, there was several hundred vampires who were on leave from the war taking place in Asgard. That was in addition to the various undead monsters that roamed the island. Gideon hadn’t been able to give Brahms any concrete numbering on just how large a party the invaders made up, but both vampires hoped they were strong enough in numbers to repel the Valkyrie.

The vampires who hadn’t needed to leave the island to feed were busy elsewhere. They were fortifying defenses, setting traps, and preparing attacks. The Valkyrie and their einherjar would not find it easy to set even one foot on the island. Already the few mages they possessed, were stirring spells. They were targeting the weather, summoning up a storm to disrupt the ocean that surrounded the island. The boats the Valkyrie rode on would have a difficult time getting close enough to land. But it was a delaying tactic only. Eventually they would arrive, and then the fighting would begin in earnest.

Brahms was determined not to lose. Neither his own life, or that of Silmeria’s. He’d do whatever it took to win, to keep Silmeria in his possession. Even if he had to spill Valkyrie blood to do it.