OSVP 19

It had not been difficult for Lenneth to discover the location of Lezard’s private rooms. The many servants that he employed were only too willing to answer her questions, some even so eager as to offer to escort her there. She had demurred against being accompanied, Lenneth telling them she did not want to take them away from their jobs. Fortunately for her, no one made any insistences against her protests.

She was both surprised and not surprised to learn Lezard kept himself separate from the others in the castle. She didn’t know him well, but Lenneth very much thought he was a man who valued his privacy. To the extent he had made sure to take a whole wing of the castle for himself, several rooms appointed for his exclusive use. Many of the rooms were used for storage, Lenneth having spied book cases whose shelves were cluttered with jars and containers. She hadn’t bothered to attempt to catalog the items there, just sensed the magic whose essence clung like dust to their skin.

There had even been barrels, and large sealed crates. It seemed Lezard would want for nothing when it came to his alchemy. One room was chilled by spells, a magical device needed to keep the contents inside fresh for longer periods of time.

Those cluttered rooms might warrant a closer look, though Lenneth had her doubts about finding anything useful amidst Lezard’s warehouse. She felt he had to keep anything of true value closer to him. Somewhere he could readily notice if it had been tampered with. That led her into his workshop, Lenneth looking around at the many experiments that lay out in the open.

She wasn’t as accomplished a mage as those men and women who made Flenceburg their home. But Lenneth did have some magical aptitude. Enough to sense the dark nature of some of the spells that had been cast over the objects in this room. As such, she was very careful not to actually touch anything, not wanting to risk getting a curse cast on her.

It made looking more difficult, Lenneth trying to snoop without using her hands. Her nose wrinkled at some of the smells, Lenneth scenting the divine energy that so mimicked the essence of magic. But it was different from the ether she was so used to breathing in Asgard. There was the scent of brimstone associated to it, the taint of the corrupt. Lenneth instinctively knew it was Hel she had smelled, her hackles raised in response to the scents that lingered in the room.

It wasn’t just the fact that Hel had been here. The experiments disturbed her, especially the one with the body. It had no head, having been sliced off by some weapon. But she could see it’s insides, the body not emptied of it’s vital organs. She couldn’t imagine what purpose it would serve. Lenneth just knew it bothered her to see it, and not even the fact that it was neither animal nor human could reassure her.

She quickly moved on, pausing to lean over a table that held a row of beakers. Each tubing had a different, brightly colored liquid. Some bubbled inside the glass tubes, while others were still, and one was even in the process of freezing. A book was open a few inches to the right of the beaker, a messy scrawl printed on the page. Lenneth assumed it was Lezard’s handwriting, the woman bending closer in an attempt to read the words.

It was then that the room’s door slammed shut. The sound startled Lenneth, the woman practically jumping in place in response. Her heart beat just a little faster, but her quickened pulse had no effect on the way she moved. Lezard was standing before the door, arms relaxed at his side. He was staring at her with an unreadable expression, leaving Lenneth to guess if he was displeased by her presence in his private sanctum.

“Lezard….”

“I have been looking for you, Lenneth.” He stayed in front of the door, almost as though he would bar her from leaving. It was an uncomfortable thought, Lenneth trying not to react like a bird trapped in a cage.

“Have you now?” She asked, pleased her voice came out even. It didn’t betray any of her unease, just as her face did not show her guilt over snooping.

“You are a difficult woman to track down.” Lezard told her. “I feel like I’ve been all over the castle this past hour.”

“I…I am sorry.” Lenneth apologized. “I was exploring….”

“There’s no need to apologize for that.”

She didn’t relax to hear that. “Do you have need of me?” The weirdest expression crossed her betrothed’s face, and seconds later he would vanquish it. It didn’t lessen Lenneth’s uncertainty, the woman shifting uncomfortably. “You mentioned you were looking for me….I thought that meant you had a reason…”

“Do I need a reason beyond wanting to see you?” Lezard asked, tone soft.

Again she shifted, trying not to give him startled eyes. “Well, no.” She admitted. “You are to be my husband. You can call on me at anytime…” That served only to frustrate him, Lezard shaking his head no. Lenneth felt as though she had given him offense, and didn’t know how to set things right. So Lenneth did the only thing she could, a careful gesture of her hand at the beakers on the table. “What is it you are working on?”

He seemed to take that as an invite to approach her. “I’m breaking down the components of various substances, trying to find the essence that makes them what they are.”

“And the body?”

“I’ve extracted it’s fluids.” Lezard explained. “Many are poisonous to mortals, but if run through a filter…” He shrugged. “Some have proved beneficial, provided the correct dosage is used.” He had reached her, stepping so close the front of his shoes touched the toes of her slippers. “There is a high market for medicines, the mortals desperate to advance their knowledge of cures.”

She couldn’t exactly back away from him. Not without risk of bumping into the table. So Lenneth forced herself to be still. “I didn’t think you would have such an interest in my work.” Lezard continued, his amethyst colored eyes studying her.

“Much of it is beyond the realm of my understanding.” Lenneth admitted. “But I wanted to see…To know what it is that occupies your time.”

“These experiments are only a small part of my day.” He sighed then. “Too much do I find myself busy with the running of this castle and kingdom. It is tiresome.”

“So there are disadvantages to being Lord of all you survey.” She didn’t mean it, but her words came out as though Lenneth was teasing him.

“There are.” He smiled then. “But there are also benefits.” His eyes reflected her startled face, Lezard reaching to touch her hair. She had forgotten to fix her braid, many unruly strands still free and curling about her face. Lezard did not seem to mind, taking pleasure out of stroking his hand over her hair. Lenneth tried not to stiffen, even as her words came out harshly.

“And am I one of those benefits?” The things Mystina had been saying were fresh in her mind, Lenneth staring searchingly at Lezard. He appeared not to know how to answer, and this time she sighed and stepped to the side of him. “I know I mean nothing to you. Nothing save the fulfillment of your Queen’s alliance.” She wasn’t looking at Lezard, and thus was taken aback by his growl.

“You know nothing.” Startled, Lenneth turned back to him. Lezard was almost glaring at her, so fiercely did he look at her.

“You can’t honestly tell me I am wrong.” She argued. “I’m a token of good will, our marriage nothing more than a formality. A way to bridge our two kingdoms. Any Valkyrie would have done, it is just chance that I am here.”

His brow furrowed, his lips parting as if he would argue with her. But then he sighed, and looked away. “You are letting Mystina fill your head with nonsense.”

“Am I?” Her words were a challenge, but her voice was so soft, unsure.

“You are.” He looked at her again, Lezard’s eyes blazing. “She knows nothing of my wants, of my desires.”

“Desires do not equate this to mean something more.” Lenneth retorted. “You can want me without true feelings or concern for my well being. Where I? I have no such defenses.” She didn’t lower her eyes, though she did bring her hand to close in a fist over her heart. “I have been weakened by Odin’s spell. My heart has been toyed with, my feelings tampered with. I want to love you…But I cannot afford to.” She shook her head then. “I will not be your plaything, my heart yours to crush.”

“Lenneth.” Was the upset that showed in his eyes real? Was anything he said trustworthy? Lenneth strongly remembered Mystina’s words, how the sorceress had said Lezard incapable of loving anyone, even himself. “You have it all wrong. Not just you. Mystina too. Neither of you know what you speak of….”

“Do not compare me to her.” Lenneth begged.

“She speaks with malicious intent. You speak out of a need to protect yourself. You are not the same. But you come to the same conclusions about me, and it is the wrong one to have!” Once again he approached her, reaching out with his hand to stop her from fleeing.

“Why is Mystina so bitter then?” Lenneth tried to ignore the fact that his hand was on her arm, holding her in place. “What reason could she have to hate so strongly?”

“She is bitter. And jealous of me. She longs for recognition from our Queen. Mystina fails to realize she is like a hundred others, powerful but with no real potential.” Lezard explained. “Mystina feels she has been done wrong, that her skill has gone unrecognized. She sees what I have, and she envies me.” His other hand was extending towards her face, Lenneth holding herself still though she thought she might shatter if her touched her there.

“That envy and bitterness has found a new focus. She wants to get to me through you. Wants to ruin our chances before we can try to make something of this relationship! Don’t let her…” He said the last in an imploring tone, his expression earnest as he begged softly.

“This matters to you.” Lenneth spoke with shocked realization. “You want this union between us to work. Why?”

Now he turned embarrassed, dropping his hand away from her face. “We are to be married. I think it would be better to have you as my friend, than as my enemy.”

“Is that all?” Lenneth couldn’t help but feel disappointed. She knew it was foolish of her. He didn’t know her, didn’t love her. He had no feelings where she was concerned. He simply wanted peace in his household. A peace he might not get if she was anything less than compliant.

“If you give me the chance, the time, it could become something more.” Lenneth knew that was probably the best Lezard could offer her. Her heart panged with hurt, Lenneth sure he would never feel anything as powerful as what the love enchantment tried to force on her. It was a curse, forcing her to love without gaining that love back. She lowered her eyes, unable to bear looking at him in this moment.

“Lenneth!” He made a frustrated sound, both his hands touching her cheeks, lifting her face to look at him. “Mystina is wrong about me. And so are you. I can love….”

“Have you ever loved anyone?” Her question took him aback, she could see how startled he was by it. “Or anything?”

“No.” He sighed with his admission. “I’ve never let myself get that close to anyone…or they to me.” He locked eyes with her, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. “I’ve never known love. Never been blessed with even the love of a parent.”

“Mystina told me a little about your past.” Lenneth admitted to him, trying to ignore how nice it felt having his thumbs caressing over her skin. “How you were abandoned as a child….”

“Mystina talks for too much for her own good.” He grumbled.

“That she does.” Lenneth agreed. “But in this case I am glad for the talk. For it reveals to me a side of you I hadn’t considered.” She lifted her hands, to cover his. But Lenneth couldn’t smile, couldn’t feel anything but this uncertain pain. “I won’t be like her and say you are incapable of love. But you were done an injustice. By your own parents no less! I don’t know why they abandoned you….but they took away so much from you.”

“It wasn’t so bad.” He had turned defensive. “The women at the orphanage were kind to me. And when my potential was revealed…”

“They were ecstatic. They must have seen you as a tool to be used. I understand you were given the best of educations, nothing denied to you. But did anyone ever stop to hug you? To kiss you and promise you that everything would be all right?”

“They praised me often…..” Lezard hesitated. “But that is not the same as being loved, is it?”

“No, it is not.” Now Lenneth made him move his hands, but she didn’t let go of him. “I know what love is. And not just because of some enchantment of Odin’s! I have love for my sisters, and I had the love of my parents. Centuries may have passed since their deaths, but I still remember the warmth of their feelings, the love behind their actions.”

“Would you tell me about them?” Lezard asked. “Tell me what a real family is like?”

“There is good times and bad times.” Lenneth told him. She was searching through her memories, trying to grasp onto something she could give him. Something that wasn’t hazy and nearly gone due to how much time had passed. “Love, as wonderful as it is, cannot stop bad things from happening. But it can lessen the effects, keep sadness at bay.”

“Was there much sadness in your house?”

“No. We were blessed.” Her father’s laughter echoed in her ears, Lenneth remembering how often he had smiled. How the man had beamed with pride, aglow with the knowledge that he had sired three beautiful daughters. He hadn’t cared about their divinity, hadn’t spared a thought that one day all too soon they would leave him. He was merely happy, giving constant hugs, tossing Lenneth up into the sky before snatching her back down in his arms.

“We lived in Crell Monferaigne. Even then it was the holiest of Odin’s cities. My father was a knight, charged with protecting the temples. He commanded a squadron of temple knights. I can remember as early as five wanting to pick up a sword….wanting to dedicate my life to the heavens.” A brief flicker of a sad smile. “Of course my father thought that too young an age to start training. I can remember watching my older sister Hrist with envy as she practiced her sword drills with the knights.”

She remembered the jealous zeal that had filled her, both awed and envious of Hrist. Not of her skill, but simply the fact that she got to hold a sword, got to duel with the knights. How many years would she have to wait until her father deigned to allow her to begin her training? Even now, Lenneth could remember the sadness in his eyes, the reluctance he had in giving her a sword. But he had known they couldn’t put it off indefinitely. Odin would not allow the young Goddess to become anything but one of the commanders of his armies.

“Part of the love of a parent is letting go.” Lenneth said out loud. “In knowing when it is time to let your child walk her own path. It’s never easy, but it’s something that must be done….”

“How old were you when Odin brought you to the heavens?” Lezard asked when it became apparent she would say no more.

“Roughly eighteen years of your time had passed. Not yet enough time to have been set in my immortality.” She remembered how excited she had been, how taken with the sights of the heavens. Even being thrust onto a battlefield couldn’t dull her enthusiasm, Lenneth fighting just as fierce as any of the other, more experienced Valkyrie.

Lezard didn’t act shocked by how young Lenneth had been when Odin took her to the heavens. But then she suspected as a disciple of Hel, he too had been worked hard at a young age.

“It was rare, but I did get the chance to visit my family on Midgard. Not as often as I would have liked.” She sighed then. “Every time I saw them, my parents were older….all too soon they would be at death’s door.” She called to mind her mother’s smiling face, withered with age. Her mother had grown to love Lenneth’s’ father, never seeming to regret the years she had spent with him.

“I’m sorry.” At his apology, Lenneth abruptly let go of Lezard’s hands, turning away.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. It is a mortal’s fate to grow old and die.” It was her fate too now. Her long life that had seem to stretch on for all eternity would soon be at it’s end. Time was now her enemy, the years would pass by all too quickly.

Lezard did not speak out loud. There were no words that he could possibly offer her that would make it easier to grieve her lost immortality. Instead he laid his hands on her shoulders, lending her his warmth. She wanted to lean into him, take the support he was offering her. But Lenneth was conscious of how vulnerable she already was, speaking more emotionally than she had ever thought possible of herself.

She wanted to distract herself from that vulnerable state she found herself in, Lenneth casting about for a topic that would open up her heart further to him. Asking Lezard about his own childhood hardly seemed ideal, it held the potential to make her sympathize with him.

“I understand you’ve been to Asgard?” That seemed a safer topic to broach.

“Why yes. I had work to do in Hel’s name.”

She didn’t ask him what he thought of the shining realm, knowing everyone who saw it fell in love with it’s majestic beauty. “Is that when you negotiated the alliance between Lord Odin and Queen Hel?”

“Yes.” Her dress rustled, Lenneth turning to face him. She had so many questions then, Lenneth studying him carefully.

“Mystina says you accomplish the impossible. That you succeeded where others failed.” A guarded look had come to his expression. “Just what did you say to my King to get him to even consider allying with your queen?”

A graceful shrug of his shoulders. “I merely made him an offer. I presented nothing that Hel wasn’t prepared to offer.”

“Still, it is impressive. Often times has Odin thrown out or even killed her emissaries. That he even listened to you, is a miracle of itself.”

“It is just a case of making the right offer at the key time.”

“Then is it true? Is my Lord so desperate for a win against the undead, that he is now willing to do anything?” Lenneth asked.

“I wouldn’t say just about anything.” Lezard hesitated. “But he is open to any help he can get.”

“Will other Valkryies come to Flenceburg?” She shook her head then. “I suppose they will. So long as Odin continues to ally with Hel, he will reward her people with the brides they so covet.”

Again that strange look in his eyes, as though Lezard was holding back something he wanted her to know. But whatever it was, his desire not to tell her won out, Lezard keeping quiet.

“You should be careful of Mystina.” She said out loud. That Lenneth had brought the topic back to the sorceress shocked him, Lezard not hiding the surprise in his eyes. “She is as you say….jealous and bitter. It’s a bad combination that too often leads to trouble.”

“How well I know it.” Lezard agreed. “She is a dangerous foe to have at my back. But even more dangerous to leave unchecked. At least here in the castle, I can keep an eye on her.”

“Is that why you allow her to stay?”

“In part. Of course, if she proves too problematic, I may have to do something about her after all.” He looked annoyed. “Mystina doesn’t have the sense to appreciate her position and the good she could do with it. She antagonizes me, and goes after you.”

“I can handle her.” Lenneth insisted.

“But you shouldn’t have to.” Lezard exclaimed. “I’ve spoken with her. If she has any semblance of brains, she will not bother you again.” He flashed her a half smile. “If you think up a punishment suitable for her misbehavior, you will tell me won’t you?”

“Of course.” She bowed her head in agreement, nowhere as startled this time when Lezard reached out to finger her hair. Lenneth was one step closer to getting used to these casual touches of his. One step closer to not reacting like a skittish animal every time Lezard came too near. Even worse, she liked the play of his fingers on her hair, liked how carefully he petted over the platinum strands.

He was staring at her face as he did this, Lezard’s half smile starting to blossom into a full one. She couldn’t smile back, not even an uncertain one. The enchantment was playing havoc with her emotions, making her far more vulnerable to him than she should be. Her words of a few minutes earlier flashed in her head, Lenneth feeling embarrassment over her admittance of how she WANTED to love him. It was practically admitting defeat, and if he was a cruel man, Lezard would press his advantage.

But all signs pointed to him being the opposite of cruel. That might make things worse for her, Lenneth knowing a kind man would be easier to fall in love with. It would lower her resistance, might make her fight just a little less harder against being with him. Even as she thought that, Lenneth tried to harden her heart. It was difficult, especially when she felt all a flutter, something inside her melting at Lezard’s smile.

She was not used to these reactions. They served as much to spook her as to make Lenneth yield. Unprepared, she could love him. And all it would take was a dropping of the last of her defenses. But Lenneth could not surrender so easily, especially not to this man. Even with his apparent kindness, and desire to make a relationship work between them.

It was better than what a lot of women got. Especially when it came to arranged marriages. Lenneth knew she could have done worse when it came to husbands. Even as she recognized Lezard was not the ideal match a Valkyrie could make. Not with his devotion to Hel, and his black magic spells. Proof of some of his fouler works were all around them, Lenneth never forgetting there was a cut open body in the room.

It wasn’t a human’s though, and that made a key difference. As did the fact his work with it was meant to further the mortal’s advancement of medicines. It was surprising, Lenneth never having considered one could do good with bad magic. And yet that was what Lezard was doing, provided he was being truthful about that particular experiment.

He was still touching her hair, looking far too pleased with himself at the continued touch she allowed. If Lenneth were to describe Lezard’s expression, she would say he was enchanted in the moment. It made her flush with emotion, Lenneth finding she wanted to be ridiculously happy in response to the pleasure he gained just from touching her. Was this what it would be like to be in love? To feel happy in response to pleasing the object of one’s affections?

She had no experience with love when it extended beyond that of the love she felt for her sisters and parents. Never had Lenneth felt the warmth and intimacy of a lover’s affection. She could feel the differences between the two kinds of love, and knew neither was to be feared. At least under normal circumstances! But this love developing in her heart was not normal. Or wanted! It was manufactured, and would make a fool of her. It was already well to succeeding, Lenneth forcing away the last vestiges of her ridiculous happiness.

She must have given some outward sign of her success, Lezard’s smile dimming. He’d actually take his hand away, as though aware his touch would no longer be welcomed. The silence between them became awkward, all their earlier comfort ruined.

“I should go.” Lenneth said out loud. But her feet weren’t moving.

“Must you?” Lezard asked her, sounding as though it was the last thing he wanted. And that only made her more determined than ever to leave, Lenneth nodding her head.

“I’m sure you have work to do.”

“Nothing that can’t wait.” Lezard told her. She felt pleasure that he would put aside his work for her, and yet still Lenneth insisted on going.

“Your people will not appreciate my distracting you.” Lenneth forced herself to turn away, her slow moving feet propelling her towards the door. He followed her, all too persistent in the moment.

“I’m sure they would understand.” He told her. “Nor would the begrudge me the time spent getting to know my betrothed.”

They were strangers to each other. And strangers they must remain, Lenneth holding out hope that she would one day return to the heavens. She couldn’t afford any earthly attachments, could not allow herself to feel for him more than she already did.

“There will be time yet in the future for us to get to know one another.” The lie rolled smoother off her tongue than she had expected. “After all, it’s not like I am going anywhere.” She had reached the door, hand pulling on the handle. The door creaked open, and was abruptly pushed close, Lezard’s hand pressing on the wood. He stood next to her, all but pinning Lenneth between him and the door. She tensed in preparation for an attack, her clothes rustling against his as Lenneth turned to look at him.

“The wedding will be the day after tomorrow.” He was looming over her, appearing bigger than she had first believed. Lenneth gazed up at his face, feeling trapped. Both by his nearness, and the words he spoke.

“I will be ready.” She all but whispered. His other hand rose, Lezard bringing it towards her cheek. But he didn’t actually touch her, content to just hover it in place. But she could feel the warmth of him ghosting along her skin. It was almost worse than if he had touched her directly, Lenneth finding she yearned to press into his hand.

He didn’t challenge what she had said. Nor did he say anything else to her. His hand moved as though he was actually caressing her, Lenneth closing her eyes briefly in response. That was a mistake on her part, Lenneth opening her eyes as she felt warmth on her lips. Lezard had leaned into her, his lips almost touching hers. It called to memory the awakening kiss he had given her, the one meant to steal her heart’s choice from her.

“D…..don’t…” Lenneth stammered, having no space to maneuver away from Lezard.

“Lenneth…” He whispered her name, his intent focused on her. She knew then he was determined to take the kiss from her. A moment of fleeting panic filled her, gut twisting as she gave in to worry. If a kiss had awakened her to a magically manufactured love, would another bring her even closer to submitting? Lenneth did not know, nor did she want to risk finding out the answer to her question.

His lips started to touch hers, and Lenneth lashed out. Her hands shoved him violently away, and only Lezard’s surprise allowed him to move. He hadn’t succeeded in kissing her fully, but Lenneth was distressed all the same. She stared at him one long moment, sure her expression was as tortured as Lezard’s was. “I….I’m sorry!” She gasped out the instant before she wrenched open the doors. But she didn’t mean that apology.

“Lenneth!” Lezard cried out her name, but it wasn’t enough to stop her from lurching out the door. His shout didn’t draw her attention back to him, Lenneth hauling up her skirts and breaking into a run. She ran as though the very hounds of Hel chased her, but there was no outdistancing her true opponent. Love and the enchantment would track her down, follow Lenneth no matter where she hid, no matter how often she fled.